Tuesday, December 11, 2007

The greatest plagurism ever. No, really.

I'm going to assume that everyone who knows me - and thus is reading this blog - has seen FINAL FANTASY VII: ADVENT CHILDREN. I'm sure that, for various reasons, all of you ('cept one of you) have masturbated furiously to what is literally 100+ minutes of retardedly awesome pretty CG pushing the boundaries of set pieces to a brand new level and back again. We love it. We're probably bad people for loving a pointless sequel that ignores so much of the end of the game it's riding on, but none of us care. Knights of the Round in photo realistic animation makes us cease to care about a lot of things.

What I'm willing to bet you don't know is IVY, a Korean pop singer who was recently sued - successfully, I might add - by Square Enix.

Here's why.

While Kanye West's AKIRA homage in "Faster Stronger", in turn a crappy sampling session using a the Daft Punk song of the same title - and while British techno isn't exactly my bag, I'd take those two crazy limey's over West any day - was at most a cheap and silly nod to a classic, this proves that not only is Korea dedicated to stealing Japan's animation techniques and workforce, it's going to live it up while their hand is already in the bentou.

For the record, Tifa's boobs are bigger. Even if Advent Children shrunk them down a couple cups. She is rather cute though. I'd admit the song is almost catchy in a bad K-Pop sort of way, but I'm afraid my penis would fall into a dimension populated only by rabid dogs who will eat it. So I won't.

Anyway, lulz away my friends. You've earned this one.


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