Wednesday, September 19, 2012

They Bleed Pixelation

As much as I abhorrer all forms of censorship and cowardice in the pursuit of the all mighty dollar, Steam's online gaming service (or more specifically, the "Greenlit" indie spotlight portion thereof) making nerd-culture headlines last month for banning the borderline pornographic Seduce Me left me with little more than a sigh and a shrug. Yes, any service that takes money from a stranger's credit card should assume that the card holder is 18, and thus independantly capable of deciding that a dialog-driven strategy game about sport fucking is the right use of their disposable income. Then I remind myself that it was essentially a Jersey Shore Dating Simulator that looked like this...

You can almost taste the herpes.


So, clearly, nothing of value was lost. It has every right to exist, and it's not as if the developers can't publish it themselves in some other, less assuredly high-profile manner, but I mostly feel that Steam has every right to tell them to shove their porn game without being especially hypocritical. Yeah, yeah, everyone and their retarded potbellied pig has bitched that Witcher 2 and Mass Effect 3 are available via Steam, softcore hump-scenes included, but the isolated images in a hundred hours of melee grinding RPG is a bit like comparing the brief penetration found in I Stand Alone or Short Bus to Jenna Jameson's Wicked and The Best Of Blackzilla. It really isn't the same thing, and I can understand why a service would be into one and not the other, even if, at the end of the day, they all feature genitals mashing into other genitals.



That said, Steam has my attention once more:

The H.P. Lovecraft themed side-strolling murder simulator THEY BLEED PIXELS looks ridiculously awesome. It's the latest brain-leavings of Spooky Squid Games, a cottage industry focused on Eldritch Fun for the whole doomed family!

Movies will be eating up my next couple paychecks, but the game with soundtrack costing less than fifteen bucks sounds like way too good a deal to pass up. Can't speak for the gameplay yet, but it's a goddamn side-scrolling Lovecraftian version of Mad World... how can this not be awesome?

3 comments:

One J said...

michael kors
ralph lauren outlet
louis vuitton handbags
coach outlet online
retro 11
oakley sunglasses wholesale
coach outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
kd shoes
coach factory outlet
jordan 5
abercrombie store
true religion jeans
jordan 8 playoffs
coach outlet online
retro jordans
oakley sunglasses wholesale
burberry scarf
red timberland boots
tods outlet
football jerseys
michael kors
cheap oakley sunglasses
louis vuitton
oakley sunglasses
20150603yuanyuan

Hua Cai said...

ray ban sunglasses, http://www.raybansunglass.com.au/
hermes belt, http://www.hermesbelts.us/
pandora jewelry, http://www.pandorajewelryoutlet.us.com/
mulberry outlet, http://www.mulberryoutlet.com.co/
coach outlet online, http://www.coachoutletonline.in.net/
polo ralph lauren, http://www.poloralphlauren.us.org/
yoga pants, http://www.yogapants.us.com/
stuart weitzman boots, http://www.stuartweitzmanoutlet.us/
moncler coats, http://www.moncler.us.com/
jordan shoes, http://www.jordanshoes.us.com/
air jordan shoes, http://www.airjordanshoes.us.org/
timberland boots, http://www.timberlandboots.name/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakley.in.net/
soccer jerseys, http://www.cheapsoccerjersey.net/
michael kors factory outlet, http://www.michaelkorsfactoryoutletonline.com/
mcm outlet, http://www.mcm.in.net/
air max 2014, http://www.airmax2014.net/
chanel handbags, http://www.chanelhandbagsoutlet.eu.com/
louis vuitton handbags, http://www.louisvuittonhandbags.org.uk/
michael kors handbags, http://www.michaelkorshandbagsoutletstore.us.com/
michael kors outlet, http://www.michaelkorsoutletonlinestores.us.com/
ralph lauren uk, http://www.ralphlaurenoutletuk.org.uk/
ralph lauren uk, http://www.ralphlauren-outletonline.co.uk/
christian louboutin uk, http://www.christianlouboutinoutlet.org.uk/
oakley sunglasses, http://www.oakleysunglassescanada.com/
2015924caihuali

John said...

true religion outlet
ed hardy uk
oakley sunglasses wholesale
p90x workouts
prada outlet
hollister
cheap versace
ed hardy outlet
louis vuitton borse
air max 90
hermes belt
prada
adidas originals
hollister kids
polo outlet
christian louboutin outlet
coach outlet
jordan shoes
nike free runs
ugg outlet
mcm outlet
new balance outlet
nike roshe run
timberland boots
cheap ray ban sunglasses
hermes uk
ugg slippers
uggs on sale
nike running shoes
air max 95
nike free run
2015926yuanyuan